The ultimate guide to gaining the upper hand in any social situation.
Table of contents
🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences
Power is amoral; It’s a game; A social game. To master it, you must be able to study and understand people
To obtain a tactical advantage, use selective honesty, diversion, and a surplus of secrecy.
Adaptability and timing are essential to retaining power.
🎨 Impressions
This book is very well-researched, concisely written and very easy to apply to real life. I've noticed that Machiavelli’s laws resemble Greene’s. Except that the latter uses real-life examples to demonstrate the laws. In addition, I appreciate that he employs philosophical quotations to elucidate his ideas. It also unabashedly reveals the tactics that the powerful use to reach their high status.
🔍 How I Discovered It
Browsed through Robert Greene's books.
👤 Who Should Read It?
Readers who wish to learn how to
establish power and influence in any situation
gain this power ethically
spot power plays before they fall into the traps
.
☘️ How the Book Changed Me
It changed the way I viewed the wielding of power by proving that...
Everyone wants and needs to have some degree of power and control over their situations.
Don’t judge people based on their stated goals, but rather on their actual results. Many people who claim they don’t want power are either naive or manipulative.
There is always a way to gain power without causing others to resent you. Power is so important in gaining the respect and admiration needed to raise one's social status.
✍️ My Top 3 Quotes
When you show yourself to the world and display your talents, you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity... you cannot spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others.
There is nothing more intoxicating than victory, and nothing more dangerous.
Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?
📒 Summary + Notes
Key Idea #1 Get people to rely on you
Many believe that influencing your workplace requires connecting with a powerful supervisor. Greene advises against it.
If you make a mistake, the powerful boss will simply fire you and hire a new employee. Instead, he offers a fresh idea. Choose a weak boss and make them rely on you till they can’t accomplish anything without you. To achieve this, be the only one who can perform what you do.
Many of Renaissance Italy’s great condottiere fought battle after battle for their masters in the 14th century only to be deported, imprisoned, or killed. The issue was the fact that there was a seemingly unlimited supply of those who were as capable and heroic. They can be simply replaced. Killing them resulted in no loss.
When you get people to rely on you, you completely control the circumstance. Controlling others is easier when they are entirely dependent on you. Hence, never, ever educate your subordinates so much that they become self-sufficient.
Key Idea #2 Your reputation is worth protecting with your life
For authority, a person’s reputation is essential. It’s possible to intimidate and win based only on your reputation. A good reputation may help you boost your strength and keep potential opponents from finding out who you actually are. It boosts your presence and strengths without using a lot of energy.
However, if you tarnish that reputation, you’ll be open to assault from all sides. Create an impenetrable reputation for yourself. Keep an eye out for prospective threats and stop them before they may occur, advises the author.
What you want to be recognized for and how you want to safeguard that image are two different things.
Key Idea #3 Always keep your intentions a secret
Disclosing your real intent is rarely advantageous. Others may disagree with you or, even worse, believe that your aims are contrary to their own, resulting in a severe confrontation.
Make the human instinct to trust appearances work for you. Use red herrings and decoys to confuse your target audience. You can’t hide your true intentions by shutting yourself off from the world. Instead, talk about them endlessly—just not the ones you want to pursue. Your adversaries will find it difficult to identify you since you appear friendly, open, and trustworthy.
Disguise your behavior using smoke screens. People can only focus on one thing at a time. They can’t decipher that the person they’re interacting with is working on another strategy.
By hiding your motives, people will perceive you as pleasant and honest. It will lead them astray. By the time they figure out what you’re up to, it’ll be too late. Furthermore, people are less likely to suspect your motives if you are bland and unobtrusive, as they trust the predictable.
Key Idea #4 Don’t appear to be without flaws
It’s always risky to appear superior to others. Yet, the most perilous of all is to appear too perfect. Only dead and the gods can appear flawless.
The more one strives to ‘look’ flawless, the more scrutinized one gets. Pressure and disappointment may follow. You’ll be most likely to be asked about your flaws in a job screening. The answer “none” is incorrect. The ideal response is to confess your weaknesses in insignificant areas freely. Meanwhile, the spotlight will inevitably fall on you as you gain authority. According to the book, you must not claim all the credit. Instead, act in such a manner that your “audience” sees your success as “attainable.”
Envy breeds silent adversaries. This envy will cause other people to become hypocritical or too praiseful, both of which are signs of impending disaster. It’s wise to exhibit flaws and admit to innocuous vices periodically. You may say that your accomplishment was aided by luck or other circumstances. This way deflects jealousy and makes you look more human and approachable.
Joseph in the bible is an example of someone who could relate to this principle. When he informed his brothers about his dream, it sparked jealousy. It wasn’t quite an “accomplishment” yet. But because his siblings were already envious of him, his thoughts of success almost cost him his life.
Key Idea #5 Don’t commit to anyone
Do not commit yourself to any side or cause other than your own. You keep control by retaining your independence – others will compete for your attention. You may also set the opposing factions against each other.
You lose all control over people if you allow them to believe they possess you in any way. In contrast, they will strive even harder to win you over if you do not commit your feelings. Keep your distance, and you’ll acquire the power that comes with their undivided focus and unsatisfied need. The idea isn’t to scare them away or make it appear like you can’t commit. You must stir the pot, pique people’s attention, and entice them with the prospect of possessing you.
Furthermore, keep your distance from trivial quarrels. Pretend to be interested, but let others fight while you sit back and observe. It’s a common strategy to start a feud between two groups and then acquire influence by serving as a go-between.
To be a master of the power game, you must practice the following:
Accept masquerades and deceptions as a normal element of human engagement.
To detect problems, examine the past and future.
Learn and practice new abilities, including mastering your emotions.
Adjust your perspective
Don’t judge people based on their stated goals, but rather on their actual results. Many people who claim they don’t want power are either naive or manipulative.
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