Sometimes, Chinese New Year (CNY) can feel oddly like an annual Status Update Meeting that no one called for.
CNY is meant to be a positive festival that ushers in the new. In Singapore, however, it is a time where we come together to account for our performance during the year to a group of people whom we rarely meet. Depending on how we respond, our parents will either beam at us with pride, or be tempted to pinch us from under the round table.
I will admit: during CNY, I am one of those people who don’t see the need to renew their wardrobes, shun CNY goodies, and wince at the riotous clang of cymbals and drums. It’s not really my favourite time of the year.
The culprits behind our growing feelings of indifference towards the festive season?
1. Loveless-ness
Though it may not occur to us, the strangest part of CNY in Singapore is arguably when everyone (publicly) discusses and implicitly takes a vote on some highly personal issues – your career, body type, love life, and family-planning. I’ve also heard a fair number of horror stories of my friends being fat-shamed by their aunties, mocked over their academic results, being treated with passive-aggressiveness as they awkwardly receive their Ang Baos (red packets)… it can get out of hand, really fast. I have something against relatives (whom I am not close to) asking personal questions simply because they are nosy. Just when you think you are safe from further probing because you are no longer schooling, found a partner, got married, and had just given birth, they would ask when you are having another child. They may only stop asking when you are going to pass on. But who knows, that could be a question too: When are you going to go?
When people think of CNY, they think of the sumptuous food on the dinner table and festive sales at stores. But what we don’t realise is that behind the food comas and “buy one, get one free” deals, we tend to lose sight of the true meaning of the holiday season — love. Amidst the recent social distancing measures, a number of Singaporean millennials are responding with “No Visits, No Problem”, welcoming a respite from nosy relatives. This aptly captures the detachment that our younger generations have towards CNY. Are the intrusive questions and unsolicited feedback sessions really displays of love, or are they acts of insensitivity that reopen wounds under the guise of concern? As a society, we place our righteous “Asian Values” on a pedestal. If so, shouldn’t we then offer our compassion more generously during our yearly interactions?
2. A Time for Excess
The problem is, much of Chinese culture equates material excess with success, and this is never more evident than during Chinese New Year. Ever had a relative call you out for repeating “auspicious” outfits for CNY? Fundamentally, I suppose this is seen as sign of lack to those who are not as open-minded about their metrics of success.
Additionally, the 21st century has brought along the over-commercialisation of CNY, which promotes a vicious cycle and spending and mass materialism in a world of sheer excess and tireless bustle. Besides new outfits, we splurge on hairdos, manicures and festive feasts. This has caused restaurants prices to spike to the auspicious tune of S$388, S$588 or S$888 per table. Makeshift bazaars sprout on every empty grass patch, bakeries across the island churn out alarming quantities of CNY confections, and Singaporeans shop with a vengeance, as if there's a prize for the most "CNY worthy" home.
Whenever I witness yet another mountain of snack containers whispering “buy me”, and CNY jingles blaring in the background, my enthusiasm for the festive season is ever so slightly dampened. Psychologist (and materialism expert) Tim Kasser's study found that people focused their holiday season around materialistic aims like spending and receiving, the less they were focused on spiritual aims like spreading kindness and creating quality interactions.
Rethinking the Season of Renewal
Too often, as we get older, we lose the magic of the festive season. We no longer feel the excitement we once had as children, and when we once started holiday prepping weeks in advance, we now find ourselves decorating days before, and sometimes even dreading every minute of it.
Nevertheless, everyone has their favourite CNY memory, one that may bring a tear to their eye just by thinking about it. This is why a part of me still adores CNY. I fondly remember the way my grandfather assembled my favourite CNY snack: 公公‘s Homemade Bak Kwa (pork jerky) sandwich. Generous amounts of charred, smokey Bak Kwa are sliced into bite sized squares and enveloped by a toasted, pillowy slice of 尖头面包 (French loaf), layered with slivers of SCS brand Butter and fresh cucumber. It’s my ultimate New Years’ breakfast, and a silent display of love.
Ideally, I hope to recover that same excitement level toward the holidays as my childhood self did, while harnessing the ability to find some sort of sentimentality to this special time of year. A time where we are more mindful of probing questions, where children do not get pinches from under the table and are happily getting Ang Baos (red packets) unconditionally this CNY. In my opinion, the true meaning of CNY is whatever makes us and those around us happy — I’m sure that stretches beyond offering pineapple tarts and donning auspicious outfits.
References
Dittmar, Helga & Bond, Rod & Hurst, Megan & Kasser, Tim. (2014). The Relationship Between Materialism and Personal Well-Being: A Meta-Analysis. Journal of personality and social psychology. 107. 879-924. 10.1037/a0037409.
Elangovan, Navene. (2021). 'No visits, no problem’: Some millennials welcome respite from nosy relatives, hectic visits this Chinese New Year. Channel News Asia. Link: https://www.channelnewsasia.com/commentary/chinese-new-year-tips-how-to-cope-relatives-questions-married-786266
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